I was shocked that I liked Alien: Covenant a good deal more than Prometheus.
For a brief recap: I despised Prometheus when I saw it in the theater when it came out. I read Roger Ebert’s 4 star review. 4 stars, nothing you’d change? There were a lot of comparisons to Alien and I was pretty excited. Then the movie started. Huh I’m not really sure I get Charlize Theron’s deal but still fun. We were doing pretty well until the guy with the map got lost. And then guy starts petting the snake alien. And then Idris Elba abandons them to go get laid. And then guy sees a creature in his eye and doesn’t say anything. Although after COVID I think the character hiding a zombie bite or alien super virus no longer a crappy unrealistic trope. You see that and go, “yeah people do that.” It’s just…the movie lost me. I felt really annoyed at the characters and left cranky. Sorry.
So when Covenant came out in 2017 to a similar positive review by Matt Zoller Seitz, now on RogerEbert.com, I did not take the bait. I tweeted him, hey what if you hated Prometheus. And dude actually replied to me, “If you didn’t like PROMETHEUS, which Roger gave 4 stars to & which I liked, don’t see COVENANT.” I followed his advice and avoided the movie until January 2024.
My review is that Prometheus and Covenant are actually very enjoyable, good movies if you go in knowing that the characters are too dumb to live. I really mean that. These movies are gorgeous, they have some great horror, and the characters are dumber than a second coat of paint. Red Letter Media I think said it best about Covenant, “If you got mad at Prometheus for them taking off their helmets, in Covenant they don’t even bother to wear fucking helmets.”
So going into Covenant, knowing the characters were going to behave like idiots, I had a real good time. The horror might be the best in the franchise. It’s fucking gross, Michael Fassbender is real creepy. The price of that is “jesus christ this asshole just stepped on some spore spitting plant fungus thing.” You dumb fucks should’ve worn helmets. BTW the spores seem to be a vastly superior delivery mechanism to these giant eggs that no one should get near.
So I didn’t get angry at the Covenant characters when I was watching their movie. And for the life of me I couldn’t tell you why other than, I knew they were gonna touch shit they shouldn’t. I didn’t roll my eyes at lady running into a room with a shotgun and slipping on blood.
Covenant also benefits tremendously from having a novelization that is way better than the movie. And the reason is that it really takes time to dwell on the character’s motivations, the science, and the grief after James Franco’s character dies at the beginning of the story. Heavy recommend to the novel.
So yeah that’s my Alien: Covenant review. It really comes down to enjoying the characters more. Even a character like Billy Crudup’s Oram. His character is supposed to be a little annoying. He’s a spiritual successor to Harvey from Sunshine. Both characters are nebbish second in commands to beloved competent captains who die and they’re thrust into that leadership role. But Oram has an earnestness to him. Compared him to Logan Marshall-Green as Holloway, I don’t think Prometheus realizes that character is unlikeable. Billy Crudup really nails this character, he finds a way to make Oram a little unlikeable but not insufferable. Although these characters for the most part get mowed down pretty quickly but they’re not just background like Prometheus. And making the crew all couples means there is at least one character in the script who cares about their character so it becomes easier for the audience to also care.